Why can’t my screenplay have a cover??? Yes I stole this from my site!!

Industry people say a writer should do one or the other, either write screenplays or write novels. Either take the New York train or catch the Hollywood plane. Screenwriters should stick to screenplays and novelist should stick to novels, and there is no middle ground. You are just not allowed to do both. It’s not what we do. One half of the brain will fight against the other and eventually it will explode and you will surely die during your 50th draft. That’s what they teach aspiring book and screenwriters in the West and in the East, right? Not true.

Well, thank God I have no real writing experience other than the imaginary stories my mother used to tell us as children or maybe I would have bought into everything every teacher taught me in class. See, sometimes the less you know about a subject, the better. And it’s better sometimes to ask for forgiveness rather than for permission.

Oh yea, I forgot. And what’s this Hollywood rule which says my screenplay is not allowed to have a cover on it??  Well last I checked, screenplays were two and three hole punched with plastic or brass fasteners, (yes there are some pompous **#% out there who will quite literally throw your hard work in the trash can unless those fasteners are polished brass) talk about hurting your mothers feelings— she would cry the Mississippi if you did that to her son or daughter.

So I say (reject me forever if you must) that if you are more impressed with those golden brass fasteners than with my cover (and I’m giving you both) and you are so arrogant your busy fingers just can’t for the life of you remove a simple cover— chances are I probably won’t be very impressed with your evaluation and opinion of my work either (unless of course your name is George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, or one of that entourage of course).

Oh, and if I want a plastic covering over it to keep it from getting smudged (to impress you) that’s OK too, thank you very much. Sorry, but I would just feel for a person who has placed months or even years of  writing out their dreams only to have somebody throw it in the garbage. It’s called having a heart (whether it’s good or not). Besides, my mom always said don’t be a copycat and it was her idea anyway. She likes it much better with a plastic cover than without one, and that’s all that really counts these days anyway. And besides all of that, my best friend who is now flying around somewhere in Heaven is on the cover, just like I promised him.

So now that I got that off my chest…