Why can’t my screenplay have a cover??? Yes I stole this from my site!!

Industry people say a writer should do one or the other, either write screenplays or write novels. Either take the New York train or catch the Hollywood plane. Screenwriters should stick to screenplays and novelist should stick to novels, and there is no middle ground. You are just not allowed to do both. It’s not what we do. One half of the brain will fight against the other and eventually it will explode and you will surely die during your 50th draft. That’s what they teach aspiring book and screenwriters in the West and in the East, right? Not true.

Well, thank God I have no real writing experience other than the imaginary stories my mother used to tell us as children or maybe I would have bought into everything every teacher taught me in class. See, sometimes the less you know about a subject, the better. And it’s better sometimes to ask for forgiveness rather than for permission.

Oh yea, I forgot. And what’s this Hollywood rule which says my screenplay is not allowed to have a cover on it??  Well last I checked, screenplays were two and three hole punched with plastic or brass fasteners, (yes there are some pompous **#% out there who will quite literally throw your hard work in the trash can unless those fasteners are polished brass) talk about hurting your mothers feelings— she would cry the Mississippi if you did that to her son or daughter.

So I say (reject me forever if you must) that if you are more impressed with those golden brass fasteners than with my cover (and I’m giving you both) and you are so arrogant your busy fingers just can’t for the life of you remove a simple cover— chances are I probably won’t be very impressed with your evaluation and opinion of my work either (unless of course your name is George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, or one of that entourage of course).

Oh, and if I want a plastic covering over it to keep it from getting smudged (to impress you) that’s OK too, thank you very much. Sorry, but I would just feel for a person who has placed months or even years of  writing out their dreams only to have somebody throw it in the garbage. It’s called having a heart (whether it’s good or not). Besides, my mom always said don’t be a copycat and it was her idea anyway. She likes it much better with a plastic cover than without one, and that’s all that really counts these days anyway. And besides all of that, my best friend who is now flying around somewhere in Heaven is on the cover, just like I promised him.

So now that I got that off my chest…






 bookcover final printig highlihted quoto


July 6, 1990

Dr. Charles Unsworth & Associates, Professor.

Berkeley School of Psychiatry

14003 Santa Monica Boulevard, Beverly Hills, California90210

Summary of Treatment

Patient: John Doe

9:00 a.m. –

Patient John Doe, Caucasian male, unknown age, (35-50 yrs) came in to my office today for critical evaluation therapy. Patient was carrying a large tote bag of clothing. Patient Doe believes someone is watching him. Patient Doe says he has been followed here today. I asked Patient Doe why he feels he is being followed. He responds… “Through his eyes, I’d often see, the man, in the mirror. I follow him, because he follows me.”

Patient Doe is dressed as a Catholic priest. Patient refuses to remove his hat and sunglasses and does not want to be identified. Patient Doe drove three hours to personally seek out Dr. Unsworth. This appointment was made two weeks prior. The Patient was adamant about only seeing Dr. Unsworth. Patient Doe also wishes financial anonymity and pays in cash. Patient Doe is devastated over a recent rejection and the voluntary abortion by his spiritual wife. Patient Doe claims spiritual wife is an angel and is illegally married to another man without the approval of God. Patient denies history of legal psychotropic medicines, prescriptions, or psychiatric commitments. Patient would like to discuss alternative impulse-resistance therapy and alternative coping mechanisms. Patient also denies violent or suicidal tendencies. He pronounces a firm belief in the healing power of God but believes God has rejected him. Patient refuses to talk about his family and upbringing. Patient said only that he had a loving mother and father. Patient Doe works professionally with community members and offers professional advice. Patient complains of delusional hallucinations and reoccurring day and nighttime nightmares. Delusions have increased in severity during the last several years. Patient Doe is emotionally hurt but denies volatility.

I am unable to properly medicate due to lack of required legal information from Patient or medical history for dispensing. Patient admits to prior medication several years ago, obtained from a physician in Mexico. Denies recent use but will pursue medication in Mexico if necessary. Patient Doe believes his spiritual wife whispers to him in his dreams, that she will have his child on earth, and they will all be together in Heaven.

10:05 a.m. –

Patient excuses himself to go into bathroom.

Predetermination: Schizophrenic Delusional Disorder.

Nonviolent with concern of escalation.

10:10 a.m. –

Patient returns and is dressed in a brown police uniform but has no patches. Patient is very rigid in his speech and talks and acts like a police officer. Patient Doe ask me for my driver’s license, registration, and proof of my existence.

Patient Doe is not armed. Says he has an aversion to firearms, but that he feels he would enjoy hunting animals that are not faithful to their own kind. Patient groups some people as animals. Patient Doe begins to plead for help and asks for medication. Medication may be prescribed at next visit, if Patient Doe submits to lab tests. Patient Doe believes he is currently in one of his nightmares.

10:25 a.m. –

Patient Doe excuses himself and goes into the bathroom.

Determination: Patient Episodic Psychosis Disorder.

Concern of violence to self and others.

10:37 a.m. –

Patient Doe returns and lies on the couch. Says his name is Mona. Patient Doe is dressed like a woman and claims to be of African American Descent. Patient Doe says,

“All sluts must die.” Patient Doe says Mona has taken a boat ride out to sea and has jumped into deep water. Patient Doe says he will kill himself to be with her in paradise.

10:45 a.m. –

Patient Doe excuses himself and goes back into the bathroom.

Determination: Schizophrenic Delusional Disorder / Episodic Psychosis Disorder.

Concern of violence to self and others.

Emergency petition: In consideration for the health and safety of Patient Doe and the public at large, I will be ordering a commitment for an involuntary mental evaluation of Patient Doe. I will also notify police and attempt to establish domicile.

10:50 a.m. –

Patient Doe returns and is dressed in an orange jumpsuit. Patient Doe places a book on my desk, which I wrote in 1963. It is about Jonathan Florentino. Patient Doe tells me he never gave me permission to write this book.

Patient Doe lays down on the couch with his arms relaxed in comfort behind his head. Patient Doe is calm and silent. Patient Doe becomes very sarcastic and witty. Patient Doe says he will live forever. Patient Doe is very intelligent and calculating. Patient Doe asks me…

“Do you remember me?”

I inform Patient Doe, “Yes… Jonathan I do.”

Professional Medical Diagnosis:

Previous medical determinations are negative. Patient Jonathan Doe has no psychiatric or psychotic deviation. He is normal. He is an instinctual killer. He is the Flesh and Blood of his Father. Patient Doe is his own son. Patient Jonathan Doe will now kill me…

The man in prison orange stood up from the couch. He walked over to the door and locked it. He also closed the blinds. He knew he was the last appointment. Then he walked over to the old man. He raised the long knife up higher and higher, until it arched behind his shoulder. Then with one stroke, the blade flashed and found home, severing the old man through the cranium.


Once upon a time there were 2 trolls… but this was not always so….

… because as we sat at dinner I decided to change them back into the two vain egg-heads so I could try and make more sense of what they were trying to school  me in (one is an aspiring actor, the other is– yep, you guessed it. An aspiring actress). Here’s the scoop in a love letter to whoever wants to read it….

Well, I would like to take this opportunity to thank the 2 trolls (husband and wife team) who I’ll politely refer to as Romeo & Jewels (Barbie & Ken for the more contemporary Hollywood folks) who, before offering up their strong opinion, made me a strong pitch to author their own frictional, true love story (no, frictional is not a type o– because that was exactly the atmosphere as I was pretending to enjoy my soup).

Yea, I know, Gag me with a roach’s egg (hold the mayonnaise please). 

Yep. So that’s what this high end restaurant is all about– always a catch!

Their opinion was that I should price my soon to be released e-book, LUKE 11:24, at more than .99 cents. I mean, they are going to price their e-book edition at $15.99 because they have 2 IMDb- ( Z movies mind you) credits, Yippie ky yi yaaa…so what!!).

I mean and they clearly have my best interest in mind when they tell me I am going to DE-VALUE the work of other authors and ISOLATE myself from the MAJOR PUBLISHERS. Umm…  well, looks like the MAJOR PUBLISHERS have already done a good enough job of doing just that for themselves (thus, SELF PUBLISHING– AKA people power on display).

Hmmm– OK. Well, I say if I really wanted to get in on the ground floor and catch this popping isolate train they’re whispering about, I would stand in front of the Amazon Headquarters in a clown’s suit, break dance, and then hold up a sign which reads… “BUY MY .99 CENT E-BOOK FOR A HUNDRED DOLLARS!!”

 Now that is what I would call isolating.

And so once upon a time ends with happily ever after, as the author (me) chose good intentions over the greedy and fruitless advice of the evil Barbie & Ken (who he changed back to  trolls mind you) by pledging to offer good books at cheap prices in the hopes of one  day gathering a magical horde of loyal fans.

And thus, .99 cents it shall be for the time being, 13.95 for a paperback, and $22.00 for a the character fingerprint signature edition, much of that is being donated to charity anyway– plus I’ve searched and searched and I still couldn’t find that darned clown suit anywhere… jeeesshh!!!


A sincere thank you to the king and queen of the .99 cent novel, Amanda Hocking and John Locke….see dreams are possible…

America was built on one…